Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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