A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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