If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
