Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
