this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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