i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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