he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
