Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
