Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
