i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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