We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
