i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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