i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
