Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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