Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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