doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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