Porn is love you can see.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
