.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
