I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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