I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
