oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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