real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
