He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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