So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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