I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
