A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
