When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I forget how to act sober
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