we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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