No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
