he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
