I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
