I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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