I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
