how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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