I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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