idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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