so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think your dad took our porno
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
