dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize