Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
