i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
