You really coming over, don't trick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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