I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
