what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
