I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
