We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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