you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
