when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
