It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
