My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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