well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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