i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
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I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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