Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
