nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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